a little about my story

So lately, there has been alot sewing and making things for my own house, some extra rest, some much needed time spent thinking and praying about Love. I made some pillows for my sofas, and I made a shirt pattern for myself (I am in the weird phase where things are beginning to not fit. This means lots of leggings and long shirts for me). I have been spending time in Romans again. It is so beautiful; the gospel is so beautiful. I painted my toenails a really nice sable color. I have been spending the mornings working on numbers and letters with Piper, I have been trying to take naps while Piper naps. All of this has been an intentional effort to live life, to rest. 


Also, I added a third column to my blog, and redesigned it. You can still find all the links on the right; pinterest, facebook, Lightnest Collective and all that fun stuff is still underneath the pages on the side (they are the ones that are illustrated with the dashed font). Oh, and kind of a fun thing-- go to luckymag.com/kids, scroll down until you see the add on the right for Stride Rite (I think it says 'Enter to win shoes for the year'), click on the add, and then click the tab that says 'Mommy and Me gallery'. Piper and I are the first box! Yay. Things like this also are kid of surreal. It is strange to see us on a major website like that. Anyway. I am super thankful for the opportunity (thank you Lucky and Stride Rite!).


That brings me to my point... I received an email yesterday from a sweet reader who found my blog through a comment I left on Martha Stewart's website. I wrote a comment about making tissue puffs for Piper's first birthday, and I included a picture. Anyway. She wrote about how she was initially struck by how I (and another blog she found) seemed like one of those women who has it all together. You know the ones. Super mom, perfect house, prefect hair/teeth/nails, the whole thing (my description, not hers). She then said that after reading a little, she changed her mind about that (in a good way!). You can read her post here. It got me thinking about how difficult it is to represent my life accurately here. It may look like I have it together because the pictures and blog design are nice (but really they don't mean that at all. They are just here because I like to make things look pretty). I love Lightnest and my sewing and photography, but it is also a job (read: we need the money). That means that I have to kind of self-promote a little. If you read the 'meet me' section of my blog, you'll see a blurb that is meant to convince prospective clients that I am competent. I don't have it together, guys. That may even be among the more notable things about me. I don't vacuum my floors frequently enough and manage money poorly. I mostly shop at thrift stores for our family (not just because I like to), and except for the things that were gifts from parents, nearly everything we own has been thrifted (aside from our white Ikea sofa. It was a splurge). I let Piper go out without shoes on and she is often running around at home without clothes on (hoping it's a phase?). Lightnest is one of the first things I have ever been remotely successful at, and it is a gift from God. I made alot of bad decisions growing up, and God rescued me from a life of addiction that nearly destroyed me. I haven't written much about this in the past, but this is who I am. Shortly after God broke into my life, Trevor and I were engaged, and we married in June 2006. We moved to Portland two months later to study the Bible at Multnomah, and graduated three years later at the age of 26. I was pregnant with Piper my whole last year, and she was born two weeks to the day after I graduated. It is a tremendous story of the gospel and grace, and I write this now to say that I have nothing to boast in other than the love of God that redeemed me and made me who I am today. All these things that I am doing now, I learned to do after Piper was born. They are evidence of God's love. He gave me this life, these tools and my identity. Reading in Romans (so amazing), this is one of Paul's main points. He had nothing to boast in but the Son of God who loved him, and the same thing is true for me. My friend Allie has a similar story, and she is going to be blogging about her life and struggles with addiction. You can read her blog here. She just started blogging, and has been having some technical issues, but keep checking back. I promise it will be worth the read.


I realized that many of you who read my blog may not be Christians. But this is my life, and I long for honesty and being known in my relationships, no matter how surface level they are. What is the point of blogging-- to make me look good? No, it is to write about and share life. So thank you for reading, even if you don't agree. I hope to write more openly about this in the future. Talking back and forth with Alli, I was telling her how i felt like I didn't have a voice in my blog anymore. I went through some really hard things-- a difficult season in my marriage, a miscarriage, my mom's illness, loneliness, stress, feeling distant from God, depression-- and I didn't feel like I was able to, or even wanted to, share honestly. So I wrote about more surface-level things, which are part of life too and can be nice. But I didn't really want to blog beyond sharing pictures and links here and there. Anyway. I love blogging, it enriches my life, and I want to tell my story. There you go.


I know the vlog keeps getting delayed, but it is coming!! Trevor is so good, he has so many good things to say, and I really want you guys to hear his passions for people who have no voice. Coming soon.


xoxo