a new bag, and a guest post

Hiya friends. Things are gearing up for spring craft fairs and such. I bought some lovely new fabrics and have come up with a couple new bag styles. This one pictured above is a roomy, cute, and easy-to-wear tote. It has nice big pockets lining the inside of the bag, and has one handle for accessibility. I chose some neutral prints to balance the color and gauzy weight of warm weather clothes. More fabric choices are available, and a couple new styles are coming soon. Email me if you want one. I plan to post a couple in the shop. They will mostly be available at Crafty Feast in Columbia, SC, the next two fairs (one in May and one in September, I hope) and in Community, a local shop that carries my bags.

Also, I wrote a little tutorial for my friend Laura's blog, Violet Bella's World. It's a simple, straightforward way to make four yards of bunting without even whipping out your yardstick.

Be back soon with an update on our little family. Lots has been going on and I haven't done a post about the three of us in a while.

xo

paige

driven to take pictures.

I have a confession for you: I am obsessed with a camera. I have spent the last couple of days agonizing over it. These pictures are not from said camera. 


We have this family that we're friends with, the Snyders... Luke's parents gave him two vintage film cameras along with their respective set-ups, and he passed them on to me. One is a Minolta x370. It came with three different fast prime lenses. When I saw these lenses I fell in love. They aren't housed in cheap plastic... they are solid and so smooth to focus. I fell hard for this camera right away. The minute I looked through the viewfinder,  I was ecstatic and I couldn't stop thinking of it. The view was beautiful. The other camera is a Fujica ST605N. It came with a 55mm f/2.2, but the focus is sticky and the view is not so nice. The lens is not nearly as high quality. I went the next morning and bought film.


I ruined the first two rolls of film right off the bat. One of them I rewound back into itself after only a couple of shots. The other, I opened after shooting the whole roll but before the film was rewound. I threw those away and loaded a third roll into my camera. 


I just sat there and took pictures of my feet and legs on my coffee table. I couldn't get over the picture I was seeing through that viewfinder. I waited until Piper woke up from her nap, then packed her in the car and dropped this roll off at the camera store. I went to JoAnns and bought some zippers and stuff while waiting the hour for it to develop. When that hour was up, I picked up my prints and paid. I sat in the car and looked at the pictures... and I couldn't believe how beautiful they were. They weren't beautiful because of the subject matter; they were beautiful because the images were at the same time sharp as a tack and yet soft. There was a natural vignette from the camera... the colors darkened gently around the edges of the frame. The light meter on the camera had directed me to the perfect exposure, the perfect combination between light and dark (and I was so worried they wouldn't be exposed properly because I couldn't check in my LCD screen). These images had the look that editing programs and actions try to give digital pictures.... but this time, I had composed my shot, chose an exposure, positioned each element in the frame, and then committed to that image by clicking the shutter. The image went straight into the camera, onto the film, and was developed and printed onto paper. This is an honest process. I felt so proud of my pictures and confident that I made that happen. I didn't edit them in any way. I was hooked.


I couldn't wait to get home and photograph Piper.. she looks especially pretty after her naps, and I wanted to capture her on film. I loaded a new roll, started shooting, and ran into some problems. The mirror started locking in the up position. I didn't know that this was the problem... all I could tell was that the view through the finder was dark. I thought the batteries were dead. I packed up the car again and drove to the camera store to buy batteries, which they no longer carry because this camera is from the mid-eighties. Really. I was re-directed to Radio Shack. I drove across the street to the Shack, parked my car, got Piper into her stroller, and hustled in to buy my batteries and bring my camera back to life. I set up shop right there at the counter, removing the old batteries, putting in new batteries, and expressing my frustration when the camera still. would. not. work. I was dismayed. Drive home, google the issue, find out it is the mirror, a common problem for this kind of Minolta (because it is, like, old). Gently press on the shutter curtain and the mirror drops back into place. Problem solved. 


I shoot another roll of film...shots of my sweet little girl. She gives kisses freely right now, and they make the best pictures, her little face is so precious. I wanted to remember this time together on this new medium that I was so moved by. I shoot two rolls and drop it off to be developed.


And I find out there is a problem.


I know this because when I drop it off to the nice people at wolf camera, they take down my name and phone number and tell me they'll call me if something is wrong with the film. They did indeed call me. It costs me about ten dollars to buy four rolls of 200 fujifilm, and then it costs about ten dollars to have the film developed and either printed or scanned and saved onto a disc as digital files. Keep that in mind as the story unfolds. Remember that shooting film is not like shooting digital... I have an emotional connection to each one of those shots because I planned them. I waited. I framed the shot. I calculated exposure. Each of these shots has a little piece of my heart in it. The camera store people said that the film was totally blank except for a couple of half exposures. At this point, I run home to try another roll, drop it off and desperately wait... and another call. No pictures. Blank film. Something is wrong with my camera.


So I have spent the past couple of days trying to fix the camera. Trying to resurrect that experience of art happening in real time in my life as I look at my little girl through a lens and press the shutter release. I can't fix it. This is a job too big for me. That feeling of helplessness is really unsettling... the feeling that things are broke, they are nothing like what they could be, and I can't fix it. The problem is beyond me. I don't even have a clue how to proceed. I could tell you how I was eventually comforted, but I just want to let this linger for a minute. This helplessness is one of those feelings that I spend so much time trying to avoid. I want to believe that I am on top of things. I want to think that I am capable of fixing the things that are wrong with my life, not only on a small level like this, but a large level as well. The truth is that I am not. This whole incident was a reminder of my smallness, of my finite-ness, of the fact that I am not all knowing, or all seeing, or all powerful, or ever present. I am so weak. I can't even fix a camera... much less my own life.


Today I broke down and bought another camera body on ebay. The thing is, the body is not what makes these images so remarkable. It is the lenses. These lenses are perfection. They are what make the image so beautiful. My new (old) x370 will arrive in three to seven business days.


So this was a valuable experience for me. Even though I am out some money, and time, and shots that could have been, I was comforted because I see things that I do wrong in my life and sometimes they are unsettling. They are unsettling because I forget my smallness. I have failed at friendships, decisions, creativity, business choices, I have been selfish as a mom and wife, I have chased after an idea of myself as bigger and better. But my husband always tells me to follow the truth wherever it leads, and he is so right. There is so much rest in that. 


And I am so excited that my new camera is on the way :)


I'll leave you with some shots from the Fujica... I eventually was so frustrated that I stopped trying to fix the Minolta and just took some pictures. That is how the shots above from my d300 came to be as well. You can see the rest of my film shots here.

I haven't yet scanned those images of my feet and legs. That will mean another trip to the camera store :) I will share those soon, promise.

In remembering my weakness, I feel like I re-discovered the joy of taking pictures. I feel like I can trust my instincts more. I can have confidence in my images. I recently read an interview with an amazing photographer. One of the things he said that has stuck with me is this (he's talking about how he got to where he is now from his beginnings): 

I simply stuck to my guns and decided that if I couldn’t shoot in the style that I wanted, then I would go and do something else. By sticking to my style, I was able to improve my skills as I wasn’t distracted by other styles. I’ve always wanted to master my style, and if you give me another 20 years and I’ll be somewhere close to mastering it.

Oh man, that is so good. Despite my smallness, and even though I may fail at times, I can use my creative impulse and make things that are beautiful. I can stop obsessing to make sure that things look how I want them to on my LCD screen and instead experience what is going on around me through the camera... and the outcome just ends up being so special. By not trying to be perfect, I can be me. 


I am totally hooked in film and can't wait to share more with you.
xo
paige

we celebrated

 We celebrated Valentine's day on Sunday instead of Monday. Trevor had a mock trial scrimmage in Atlanta, and even though Piper and I were sick, we met him for dinner. The weather has been so nice in Georgia lately... I hope it doesn't get cold again.


My sewing class is going SO well! I have a really great group of women, and everyone is super excited to see their end product. The first class we covered sewing basics and practiced the stitches of our machine, as well as a pivot. The second class we made a simple pillow using a pillow form, closing the opening with a slip stitch. Next class we will cover hemming, and then after that we will discuss basic alterations. The final few classes will involved making a simple skirt and completing a pattern. It has been so fun and fulfilling to pass on my love for sewing. Did you know that I basically started sewing in 2006? Yah. I mean my mom sewed clothes for us growing up, and I would steal her machine to alter my clothes as a teenager, but I didn't really start sewing until I moved to Oregon. My friend Chelsi had an etsy business and basically welcomed me into the world of sewing. I got my first machine for Christmas that year. I started sewing clothing for myself out of necessity, and it has grown into a major part of my life. Such a gift.


I bought some AMAZING fabric to make new bags with for the spring markets. I will post a couple in etsy, but most of them will go to markets and some will go to shops in town. Can't wait to share pictures with you.


As far as the spring and summer is shaping up, I am thankful to have some great opportunities, and I am happy to say that I'll be super busy. I am shooting a baby shower on February 26th. I'll be meeting the other artists who sell at Community on the 26th as well, and then we'll together meet a group of UGA PR students to talk to them about what we do.  My sewing class will continue to meet every Tuesday night until March 22nd (except one, March 17th). I'll be selling at Crafty Feast in my old stompin ground, Columbia, SC, on April 16th.  I haven't yet officially received an acceptance letter, but I think I will be selling at the local craft market here in town on May 7. Piper turns two on May 29th!! I have a wedding on June 25th (hi Bonne!) which will be so beautiful. My friend Amanda Kay is getting married in September, and I have the honor of making her bridesmaid's dresses (four) and shooting the wedding! Super exciting. AND the second annual Indie Craft Parade will be held the second weekend of September again... being accepted to that market changed everything for me, and I can't wait to sell there again. It kind of sounds like alot when I type it all out. 


How is it that Piper and I are STILL SICK and have been struggling for a couple of weeks now? I think we are getting better. I really will be glad for things to return to normal. My shoot on Saturday went so well, and I am really excited about the results. I will have to share some of the images soon :)


love to you all, and talk soon
xo
paige 

spring is coming

Spring is coming. New life, new birth. Warmth. Light.

Lightnest is returning to her roots... a vintage minimalism. White, bright, color, and florals. Breezy blouses, high waisted flowy skirts. Clothing like this is the reason I started sewing.

I have so many things I plan to make and I am looking forward to the spring craft markets. I will be selling more of my women's clothing... based on vintage patterns and fabrics but fresh. Lovely details. The blouse above is one of the first blouses I ever made, using my own pattern, sewn from a vintage sheet. I'll be making more like it, and I will take lots of photographs along the way to share. Also... styled photoshoot, this spring, my clothes and my photography!! Can't wait. One step closer to bringing it all together.

xo

paige

lately

Life has been busy... between Piper getting sick, and then getting sick myself, pushing hard to finish editing the images from a wedding I shot, Trevor's classes and workload being so big, and lots of stuff looming large in the distance... I haven't had much time (or reason) to write. I miss my blog.


I am at a point where I don't know what to do with it. I think this issue will be resolved when I have a website for my photography and sewing, but right now, this is a place where my business and personal life publicly intersect and sometimes it is weird. I feel like I can't be really open... I know some people come here mainly for updates on my work, but some people come because of everything else, and I guess I shouldn't be writing for my audience (I should just be writing) but it is hard to be honest when I don't know who my audience is. Anyway. It is a work in progress.


I am in a season with Piper where she is changing alot. She has been so independent and content just exploring the house, but as she gets bigger, she wants to be held more, she wants more interaction, more structured activities, more direction with her play. I want to give her that. I am re-learning how to work and be her mom. It has been a difficult process because feelings of fear creep in... fear that I am not giving her what she needs, fear that she is at home too much, fear that she will grow to resent me and the way our life is at home. I am just being honest. But I really believe that this in some ways is good for her... yes she needs my love and attention, but it is good for her to have that balanced with independence. It is good for her to see me do these things. It is good for our family that I work. It is good for me to grow and learn and improve, not only as a mom but as a creator as well. It is part of who I am and that is what I want to give to her... my dreams, my asthetic, my vision of creativity. I want her to take these things, change them, learn from them, and go her own way with them one day.


I am so excited that a friend is gifting me with a Minolta film setup.... a camera body and a couple lenses (hopefully there will be at least one fixed prime lens). I love the look of film. I love how sharp and clear it is. I love the 35mm format and how much you can fit in the frame (my dslr is not full frame... maybe one day). I won't be developing or printing myself... the film will go to the camera store, and then the digital copies will go onto a disc. That way I can edit them in photoshop if I want to. Super exciting.


I have a styled shoot this weekend that I could not be more thrilled about. This shoot is part of the inspiration. I love this client and I am so glad she chose me to help tell her visual story.


I have been using pinterest alot more. I will post a link to me once there is more on there. But I have to say... this photographer is my hero and I could pin every single image she makes. Her website is amazing as well. Also included some work by this artist. Her art is so incredibly beautiful.


I took the above pictures after listening to the podcasts by our friend John. Both of those talks are amazing. I miss being in his classes at Multnomah. I also cannot stop thinking about this sermon by Tim Keller (scroll down past the first one). Wow. And I have been reading Rick McKinley's book This Beautiful Mess. It is so, so good. I am really thankful for these resources, friends who love us, my church and Don's preaching, music, nourishing and delicious food, my little girl, my husband, and all the other gifts that God gives me on a daily basis just because he is love. These past few weeks have been really hard, but God has been so near. I know him more, I trust him more, and my marriage is stronger despite difficulty. I am thankful that he gives me beauty for ashes.

Be back again soon friends.
xo

one thousand cloth diapers

I want you guys to meet Leigh Ladd. She and her husband Gray are in the process of adopting two little ones from Ethiopa. I learned through another friend's blog that there is a serious shortage of diapers at the home where their babies and many others are living as they wait to be adopted. This is so heartbreaking. Please read this post... it explains the 1,000 diapers goal and also how you can help. If you sew, you can find a pattern for cloth prefolds here. I have a little girl. I know how it tears me up inside when something is wrong or hurting her and I can't help. It must be difficult for these parents who are longing for their children to be home with them. Adoption has forever impacted my life... not only because I am adopted into God's family as his child, but my husband was adopted. We hope to adopt one day. The drive to collect 1,000 cloth diapers is a simple way to help these families who are on this often long and difficult journey. More than that-- it is a way to care for little people made in God's image and full of life. Jesus said that when we welcome them we welcome him. I want so much for these little ones to have full and rich lives. I think this is a good start.