news about my mom!

source

So the good news is that mom doesn't have cancer! This is particularly good because of the location of what they thought was a mass. It turned out to be an enlarged lymph node. Which brings me to the bad news... she has autoimmune hepatitis, which you can read abut here. This isn't as bad as the pancreatic cancer would have been, but it will still involve a lot of work for her to get better.

After reading over my last post, I decided it wasn't an accurate reflection of how I am doing! I entitled the post 'hoping' because I wanted to yes, be truthful about how hard things have been, but more importantly, to write that even through these hard things, there is joy and peace. I don't think the right way to get there is by downplaying the difficulty of where we are, but instead to think about and remember God's faithfulness and love. Through everything that has happened, he hasn't changed. He is good.

Today I am beyond excited to travel to SC and see my sister!! And her family of course. And mom and dad for sure. Maybe we can take a picture of all of us together :)

I also forgot to mention, as I was writing about Tyler, that she has a tumblr. You can find it here. She also has a pinterest. 

Yesterday we drove out in the country to look at a listing we found on craigslist. It was about forty minutes from town, and the woods around the place were gorgeous. I don't think it is the place we will rent; but just going out there reminded me that I want so badly to move out to the country and have a farm. It was good to be reminded of our dream.

Be back soon.

xo

hoping

I would say that we have fallen on hard times lately, but I don't really know what to say. That isn't quite right. Alot of difficult things have been happening and I don't know how to make sense of all of it. With everything that has been going on with my mom, we have also come down with strep throat. We finally found a couple to rent our townhome, and we can't rent the farm we wanted to rent because someone placed on offer on it (but honestly I really hope that it works out for the owners). I sound like I am whining. I kind of am. I have been wrestling over these past few days, feeling sorry for myself, bitter at God (I am so ashamed to admit this but it is true). This idea that I am owed _____ (fill in the blank) is ugly. There is alot that has been so hard: our miscarriage, trying to come to terms with my mom's health problems and their possible implications, hopes deferred for moving, a season where it felt like all my husband and I did was fight, imbalance in my life; despite all of this, God is at work in my heart. My selfish responses to hardship, my bitter heart, my assumptions about what being a Christian should involve in terms of benefits to me (which is so wrong, it is the very opposite of our faith but we forget that so quickly), shallow assumptions about what a Christian's life should look like, these things are being shown for what they are and brought into light. The Light overcomes the darkness. The Light heals. Thank God for his loving honesty and work of renewal in my life. 

My mom is having a more accurate biopsy performed this morning. We are anxious to hear the results, but at this point, I am hopeful. I know God loves my mom, and his care for her has been so obvious. We're traveling to Columbia this weekend to see her, and to meet my sister and her family. I am so excited to see Anne. And Gene and the kids. Then it is back in the saddle for me :) I have taken a couple of days off and am ready to get working again. Having Tyler work with me has brought a fresh perspective and so much creative excitement. These young people, they're so in touch with the latest fashions. I always feel like my vision is so small after meeting with her; I am so interested in the details and the mechanics of how things are done, and she is so good at seeing the big picture, she's a dreamer (I say that only half-way tongue in cheek, because really, she is). She is the prefect partner for me.

Also, can I just mention that I have found the coolest stuff at the thrift store lately? I always leave feeling like God loves me. I find the best stuff for a tiny little price. See the image above. I am most excited about the fabric on the left (I already made myself a bag out of it). Also, I love the towny plaid shirt for Trevor on the right. The white sheet with flowers is actually a vintage bedcover. It is so soft and is in lovely condition.

I have been bad about blogging. I promised myself before I started that I would not apologize about infrequent posting; I would just blog when I could and be happy about it. I didn't want it to turn into a guilt thing. So that is my approach I guess. I do miss blogging more often, though. I have fallen out of touch with so many of my blog friends and I miss them (you). I hope to be back more often this summer.

love you all

xoxo

pictures help us remember

Before I say anything else, I just want to thank everyone who prayed, emailed, called, brought food, and were supportive and present for my mom. She has been released from the hospital, although she is still jaundiced and is weak. We haven't heard anything about her results yet... we're anxiously waiting. It is really difficult to wait. It is also really difficult to see her in pain, or hooked up to moniters and IV lines, or to see her weakened. She's my mom and I will always think of her as being strong, beautiful, and full of life. 


As I have been thinking about my mom, I have been reliving lots of my memories of her and savoring them. They have become precious to me over these past few days. Growing up, she saved a few pictures of herself as a child, teenager, and then young woman, and I used to love looking at them... I loved looking at what she wore, and how she did her hair, where she was and who she was with, what her friends looked like. I formed this image in my mind of who she was before she became my mom and I was fascinated by that. That mental image has influenced my sense of self and my vision for my own feminity. I have always not liked looking at pictures of myself, and I realize now that this is not good. The reasons that I don't like pictures of me are so petty. It will be so precious to my family one day to have these visual reminders. And I need these reminders of them too. There is something about being able to see someone's face, their hair, their expression and posture, the little details... something that helps us remember who they were. So my hope I guess is to be more diligent to record us, including me. And also to actually print out more of my digital pictures (another reason why film is great). The headscarf I am wearing was a recent thrift store find. I used to wear scarves alot more, but my favorite scarf was over ten years old and was starting to fall apart. I remembered to look on my most recent trip and found a couple of really pretty ones for cheap. I love the thrift store. Head scarves are back in action.


We are back in Athens after lots of back and forth between Columbia and Myrtle Beach. Our time at the beach was so much fun, even though it was tempered with concern for my mom. Piper loved being there. This was the view from our hotel room:

The beach was gorgeous, the sun was beautiful, and I hate that I didn't get any good pictures of us all together. 


Now that we're back, I have cleaning to do, orders to make and deliver, pictures to edit, a birthday party to plan (Piper will be two on the 29th!) and adventures to take with Piper and Daddy. I'll keep everyone updated on things with my mom, and hopefully will be able to blog a bit more in the coming weeks.


xoxo

my mom

image found here

My mom is really sick... she had been having nosebleeds, and while out with my dad one night, he noticed that she was turning yellow. She became really jaundiced. They took her to the doctor, who found a mass on her pancreas. The mass is preventing her liver from functioning properly, which is why she developed jaundice. She had a biopsy performed yesterday, but the activity caused her pancreas to become agitated and she developed pancreatitis. She was re-admitted to the hospital last night. 

This all happened really suddenly. We found out about it the night before we left to go on vacation with Trevor's side of the family. We had to drive through Columbia on the way to North Myrtle Beach to meet them, and we left early to see my mom just before she went under for surgery. After seeing her for a little while, Mom and Dad urged us to go on, that we couldn't do much until the results of the biopsy results came back, so we did. But then I found out she was in pain and had been readmitted so I left Trevor and Piper to come see my mom. I am really glad that I am came. It was so worth the drive back to be here with her and Dad. (Miss you Anne; we know you want to be here.) 

All of this made me think about how much I love my mom. She is an incredibly vibrant woman who is so compassionate, feels deeply, loves her Savior and her family, and has a giant heart. I realized how much I take her for granted sometimes. I hope that you who are reading this can pray for her and our family.

Be back soon.

xo

mother's day, market recap

This has been an incredibly busy month-- three craft fairs in four weeks, Mother's day, orders, photo shoots, and just everything has been so hectic. Yet in the midst of everything, we have raised some stones to help us remember our family right now.

Our community group met in our home for possibly the last time with the same group of people. Having these people in our home (almost) every Sunday has been so good for our family. There is something so true and tangible about friends that you can hug, cry with, pray with, eat and laugh with. These friends came, rain or shine. They came when things were good and they came when things were bad. They have been a constant in our lives. It has been a beautiful time. We hope to continue to meet with them in some way as a group.

Some major milestones are coming up for us... Piper will be two on May 29th (!), my birthday is the next day, our fifth anniversary is on June 17th, and at the end of August, Trevor will enter his final year of law school. He is working again this summer with the public defender's office, helping indigent people receive legal representation in criminal matters. He is able to truly help people is a way that is so valuable. Some come from backgrounds and situations that are beyond our understanding. So many are truly broken. I am glad that he is the one who can visit them in jail-- Trevor has a huge heart, and I know he really cares about them. I can't wait to see where this all goes :)  You know my hopes about a farm one day, and I see God continuing to move us in that direction, even when it seems impossible. I look forward to our years to come as a family.

The artist's market I did this past Saturday ended up being a huge success. It got off to a rough start that morning, but I ended up selling almost everything that I brought. I met so many great people too. I want to tell you guys about Sara Lee Parker, a friend that I met in Columbia at Crafty Feast, whose work I admire so much. She makes silk screens from her illustrations, and prints them with earth friendly inks on organic cotton/hemp blend fabrics. She lives in Georgia on a farm. You can find her shop here. I traded a bag of mine for a tea towel and pillow cover of hers (something that is so great to do at markets), and I am so in love with everything she makes. 

Another vendor I met that I loved was Janae of platypusfile. I bought a present for Piper's second birthday from her. I love her stuff; the Gocco prints are amazing, and everything she brought to market was beautiful, verdant, and bright. She is super gifted and I would totally recommend her stuff to anyone wanting to add something pretty and handmade to their little one's nursery. 

Mother's day... I photographed Piper in nearly ideal conditions (early in the morning before church), Trevor took me to the lake and then to Trappeze, we sent love to my mom, my sister, my mother in law, and my grandmother. It wasn't one of those things where I was spoiled or whatever (though those can be nice).... we just did what we love to do.

love to you until next time!

xoxo

hello May

May is already here. This year is flying by.

Last week was a good week. I sold at an Americana/Bluegrass festival, and although it wasn't the best market I have ever done from a monetary standpoint, it was a whole lot of fun. We met some friends there; George, our friend, played, and Piper danced with George and Elisha's kids. 

I am selling again this weekend, on Saturday, here in town, so I have been sewing alot with breaks in between. Piper and I try to get out to the lake a couple times a week for some time outside. It has been so good to see her playing and splashing out there. She totally loves it, and I really like being still, thinking and watching her, and taking in some sunshine. I love my work, and I love the creative lifestyle, but it does get to be a little repetitive. I do take alot of joy in making things well, and paying alot of attention to details, but the repetition can still get a little old. I am also ready to start sewing more clothes again. I intended to get a spring collection together this year but time got away from me. I still want to make some things for myself and for my little girl... once this season of craft fairs is over, I plan to do more personal sewing. I hold these things loosely, though, knowing that as a mom, you never know how much time you will have.

I am looking forward to traveling to SC in a couple weeks to go to the beach with Trevor's side of the family. Piper is already turning a little brown; she has the sweetest little girl skin. She is going to love the ocean. We did this last year, and she was alot smaller; I think this year she will never want to leave. Her birthday is coming up (and also mine, which is the next day). Can't wait to celebrate her second year of life.

Also, in the pictures above, we went to eat at a great little place in town. We really like finding places that are kid-friendly to eat at. Cali-n-Titos is awesome on that level. Plus the food is really good, and the atmosphere makes me feel like I am on vacation somewhere tropical.

Take care and be back soon.

xoxo